Discussing “Ordinary Resilience” with Luis Velasquez

Damon Pistulka  00:04

All right, everyone, welcome once again to the faces of business. I am one of your co host, Damon Pistalka. And that pretty gentleman right over there. It’s Curt Anderson. We have an exciting show for you. Today we are going to be discussing the book ordinary resilience with Luis Velazquez. Man am I excited Curt? in you?

Curt Anderson  00:28

Dude, I’ve been like I haven’t slept all week for this one. So this is telling you this is gonna be fire. Alright, let’s dive in. So we have Dr. Luis in the house. Dr. Luis How are you my friend

Luis Velasquez  00:42

I’m Luis to you Curt

Curt Anderson  00:47

I’ve tried I’ve tried it my mom told me to go formal today so that’s so Luis How are you buddy? What’s happening?

Luis Velasquez  00:53

I’m doing I’m doing well. Thank you thank you so much for having me on your show I appreciate it

Curt Anderson  00:58

well you know Luis i You do need to become a better judge of character because if I if I can count correctly this is at least your third time that I can think of so welcome back you appreciate you man you’ve become such a huge influence mentor just you know I look up to you like like you can imagine Great Father wonderful businessman great husband iron sharpens iron I just just such a privilege being in your circle. And now on top of it. We’re going to add to your title author, so dude, yeah, congratulations, you got the book right over your shoulder. I have your book right on my my Kindle and I’ve been diving right in it is a phenomenal read. We’re going to dive into dive deep but before we go there Luis, let’s just share a little bit on your background. You know, and I know you’re very modest guy a couple of PhDs in your background wood, who’s always give us a little background we’re gonna dive into your book. Who

Luis Velasquez  01:54

is Luis? Luis is a resilient mofo.

Curt Anderson  02:01

He is a resilient mofo I love that. Absolutely.

Luis Velasquez  02:06

You asked me about the PhDs and the school. Yeah, those are the things that I’ve done. But you know, those are not those things on defining what defines me is who I am and who I am as I am considered myself a resilient individual. And what that means to me is that I am committed. I am persistent and I am optimistic. Well,

Curt Anderson  02:27

those three definitely fit you and so we have a ton to cover man. I’m gonna dive into I’m you know, we’ve got some a Damon we got a couple of people jump in notes here.

Damon Pistulka  02:36

Yeah. Thanks, guys. Sean, Sean in here this morning. Aloha, Kurt Daymond. And Dr. Luiz looking forward to the talk. And we got Harry flares in here today, Harry. Great seeing you again. Happy Friday. We’re here and rollin.

Curt Anderson  02:48

Yeah, Harry, you’re gonna love this conversation. Shawn, thank you for joining us. You’re out there, drop us a note. Let us know you’re there. Do your Do yourself a favor, connect with Luis on LinkedIn. He’s promoting a new book and his phenomenal Kindle version is out on Amazon. I have the link in the chat box. Grab that book. Do yourself a favor. You’re gonna love this book. Luis, let’s let’s just dive right in my friend. So let’s go back in time a little bit. So I know I think I’ve asked you before when you’re on the show, who is your hero? Now we’ve talked a little bit about your dad on the show. And in the past, you open up the book and not to give away the book. But you talked about your dad in the book, please share a little bit about your family, your father, how did he kind of help you lay the foundation for resiliency?

Luis Velasquez  03:35

Yeah, so a little bit of background, you know, I grew up in Guatemala, Central America, and I think that you know, some of some of your some of your listeners already noticed already. But so I feel a little bit bad repeating it.

Curt Anderson  03:46

But you know, I we got new folks, man, that was over a year ago. So let’s, let’s,

Luis Velasquez  03:52

I’m gonna I’m gonna quit so I you know, I grew up in one of my left Central America in a time where there was a lot of political violence. You know, the Cold War wasn’t fought in the United States and Russia. It was fought in Central America and Latin America. So we were Yeah, we were in the middle of that. Also grew up very poor. I mean, literally, the river you know, the sometimes we will the question was in what are we going to have a breakfast? The question was, are we going to have breakfast today? Yeah. My dad was a truck driver, you know, so he was you know, he will go on days at a time you know, to you know, to to get some stuff from for the store or for five for his father. And my dad, my mom became a seamstress so she will make you know dresses for people and she will charge 50 cents for a dress at that time is like is ridiculous. So anyway when I tell people about this, you know how I grew up as a wow, you know, you’re so strong you how do you do that? And I remember it’s like I had the best chance Okay, I have a very happy childhood, you know, it was, you know, I, I, yes, now that I remember all the hardships because I see them from a different perspective. But when I was leaving that there was like, Oh my God, you know, this is the way everybody leaves and I’m okay with that, you know, it was very interesting. Because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t see anything beyond my, when I was leaving, went to a boarding school and it was, you know, and it’s gone on scholarship. And it was one Friday, I, my, one of my aunts came and told me that my dad had an accident. And I was like, okay, you know, it’s an accident, but I do understand the magnitude of the accident. So he was in that in a truck and the truck lost in the middle of the night and the truck lost the electrical system. So the lights went off. And then he crashed and he was ejected from, from the truck, you know, at that time, you know, seatbelts were a suggestion. Like, wear seatbelts, obviously, was ejected, and the part of the truck landed on his leg. So it completely disabled him for a few years. When he came back, you know, he was able to talk, you know, I remember I wasn’t, I remember the, you know, the few things that he said, he said, You know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna do my own business, I am going to, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be successful, and I’m gonna send you to the University, I’m gonna do emissary making some plants. And my mom and I were like, you couldn’t do that when you were healthy? How are you going to do now that you’re like, freaking, you know, like, disabled and so forth. And, and long story short, for some reason, you know, he did it. You know, he came back, he started he, he has his first business was a table, a knife, and to hold chickens. And he cut the chickens up, and sold them by the pound. And then all of a sudden, you know, people started coming more for chickens. And they, my grandfather gave him a little, you know, room in his store. And then he started growing up from there, man, he just grew so much. And just to give you an example of the level of buying power that is now have, you know, he, when I, when I was growing up, I asked him for a bike, and he couldn’t afford it. When my younger sister went to college, you know, he bought her a brand new car and a house. So it’s like, it’s like, it’s a completely different but anyway, so. So when I was going through my own stuff, you know, I mean, I caught up into more loss in losing my identity as a as a professor, you know, and losing my marriage. And I was in a very dark place. I realized that I had a good example. You know, my dad. And that was the genesis of how my if my dad did I can do that, too. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that

Curt Anderson  08:08

I love that story. absolute love that, and how, and just share a little bit about dad’s business. Like how, you know, how did it grow from two chickens? Like, you know, can you take some steps there for entrepreneurs out there? Maybe I just Damon I was just on a call with a dear friend of ours this morning. And she sent me a note earlier this week, like, you know, my business is struggling, what do I do? Luis? Just take us a little bit of like, how did that go from two chickens to buying your sister car and house Firkin sent you the college, like walk us through that?

Luis Velasquez  08:40

I think that it was number one, it was a I get this is very similar. This is this is adds to the concept of the book, and on the pillars of the book. And we’re actually happening, you know, to happen to mind to me, too. And number one pillar is embrace the suck. You know, embrace where you are. And I think that a lot of times, you know, we wish we were selling more, we wish we were doing more we wish we had that. And the reality is that we are where we are, because that’s where we are, there is no point of changing. There’s no point of acting differently right now is the end. And I think that, you know, my dad journey was in ECE, and he wasn’t sure he was long. You see, I’m saying so when I when he when he made the decision. And he started his, you know, his, his little tables with the chickens. He knew that that’s what he needed to do at the time. But he didn’t want to stay there. You know, he wanted to expand. He wanted to do that. So the question that, that he asked himself, and I asked myself, and I asked people all the time is what can you do today? So two years from now, this crisis that you’re having right now, you can say that is the best thing that happened to you? Yeah, so He has started, you know, and then he Okay, so the next step, I think that he started he didn’t do, he started to do more and to expand the business is knowing that he there was a point where he couldn’t do it by himself anymore. Yeah, thank you started getting people on, you know, getting people aboard First my cousin and then a brother and then realize that working with family is not a good thing. But so, so I think that number one is that, you know, he set up a process and a system of why he was his product, you know, and then after that, you started to scale scale up. And, and the one thing that I realized is that my dad built his business, on relationships. Just like, you know, the second part of the of the book, another another, another pillar of the book is thicker with relationships. And sometimes we see, you know, people see customers as customers, you know, and I think that my dad never took that approach. He also said, he see everybody as a relationship, because people like to buy from people that they like. So, so yeah, so then, you know, over time, there’s another little story, you know, my youngest brother was the rebel of the family. You know, my youngest brother was the, you know, is, you know, there is always waiting, he was always in trouble. He was always trying to, you know, to get into fights. He was a fellow at school, a couple of schools, you know, and being one day, he told my dad, that I want to go to the States, I want to go to the States, I want to go to the United States. And my dad says, So what are you going to go to there? I said, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. You know, another time, you know, I’m getting a visa to come here. It’s impossible. So he was thinking about coming in here legal. And, and my dad said, Okay, if that’s what you want to do, just go do it. You know, how much you need, what do you need. And he helped him he gave him the equivalent of that time was maybe like, $500. And my brother decided to come to the United States. He went, and then two days later, he came back. And he said, No, I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go. And then my dad told him, so what do you want to do? I said, you can just go back and you know, why do you want to do it? He said, Well, I want to work with you. I say, Okay, here’s a truck, you know, he this route, go do it. And that is another element of you know, that what my dad did is that he believed in the people that work for him. He never micromanage them, but he actually just say, you know, this is the goal and go do it. And my dad and my brother became just as successful as he is, you know, he is he never went to college, but I think that from all the brothers is the most successful economically.

12:53

Was he really?

Luis Velasquez  12:56

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it’s, but But yeah, so So that’s, I don’t know what the answer is. I did

Curt Anderson  13:02

1. Yeah. That was That was phenomenal. And we got a couple more for you.

Damon Pistulka  13:06

We got ARIA here saying Happy Friday. Great. And then we got Melissa. Dr.

Curt Anderson  13:12

Melissa is here. So Happy Friday. So I inspiring birds, for sure. Thank you, Melissa. Thank you, IRA for joining us here today. If you’re just starting just catching us we’re here with Luis Velazquez. Dear friend, huge inspiration new book just came out this week. Ordinary resilience, I strongly encourage you to grab this book. And man, I mean, just to get a slice of Louis So Luis, if you’re comfortable going here, you are a warrior. You are a conqueror, you are an incredible inspiration. Can you please share you had a little you had a minor little health scare a number of years ago, can you can you please enlighten folks, what? What news did you did a I think a doctor gave you some news? years ago? What What was that news?

Luis Velasquez  13:54

Yeah. So um, you know, um, so I was, I was working at Michigan State University. That time, you know, I was an assistant professor of fungal genetics and, and I thought that I’ve had it all made, you know, all I need to do is to publish a few papers and get my tenure and everything will be you know, wonderful. And, you know, things happen, you know, sometimes we cannot control you know, what’s happening to you. And I was losing my hearing, you know, and my wife will say you have you know, you you have selective hearing you don’t listen to me, and the reality is that I sometimes I couldn’t hear her. So we went to see a doctor and then they didn’t the MRI and they found a tumor and and I was like, Oh my gosh, you know like tumor. And then you know long story short, you know, after you know, came back from the surgery and everything else. I survived the tumor, but neither my professional dreams nor my marriage survive. So,

Curt Anderson  14:55

Louise, let’s, let’s back up one second because I’d love to share it So when you, you get the news. Okay, so you have a hearing thing. And if I’m not mistaken you so the doctor kind of brushed it off and he was like, you know, come back later come back in a month, can you just share a little bit on on, you know, because this is a great story on persistence, and then I’d love to hear what you did the day that you received the news? Can you share that real quick? Yeah. So, um,

Luis Velasquez  15:24

so what happened is, you know, like, so I went to the, to the anti, because he was a hearing issue. You know, at that time, we had no idea that it was, you know, it was a hearing issue. Year after, and about before that the night before my Sara, which is my ex wife. And I started to do some research about, you know, what, what is it possible why a person could, you know, lose a hearing, and they were, you know, feel, you know, they do have a loud noise, you’re exposed to a noisy environment. And a few and when we started to discount it that, you know, notice is not happening, it is not happening until it was one that is a tumor? And I’m like, I don’t think so. But you know, okay, so we had that information coming in with the doctor, and the doctor, you know, the anti Yankees made a test. And he, you know, he said, Yeah, yup, your, your, your hearing, this is compromised. And he asked for some questions. If he never asked us about headaches or anything that related to the tumor, you know, and I’ve had them, you know, I just didn’t realize that they were connected. Yeah. And, and they come back in, you know, six months, and we will monitor. And at that moment, as, you know, we were about to walk out. And then I remember this very, very vividly My, my, my ex wife, my wife, and I stopped the calls and the door. And she turned around, and she said, you know, we want an MRI. And if you can order that order, we will find someone that will, you know, like and I was like, what is it? Yeah, we want an MRI. So, so So then, you know, basically we persisted, and we actually threatening him? Or what else you know, so you don’t get an MRI. And that was an though I think that was a Monday, you know, Monday, and the MRI was scheduled for Friday. So I went Friday morning to get the MRI. And then on, on Friday afternoon, I was getting ready for over a run, like a quick run when the phone rang. And I answered the phone, and it was the doctor. And I’m like, why is it? You know, like, what the hell? Do you at the house? You know, after hours? Yeah. And I think that was it. He told me you know, that, you know, he said, I don’t remember exact words. But he said the maths and the brain. And I went just blank, you know, I went like oh my gosh, you know, and then my wife saw me, you know, says and you see what’s happening, you know, and she came and he hit the speakerphone. You know, the the Speaker of the of the, of the phone. And she she demanded to know what was going on. And the doctor said, you know that, you know, upon a mass in the brain. And then he already scheduled an appointment for me on Monday morning with a neurosurgeon another moment and just like holy crap, you know, not only he called me now he already scheduled like, you know, an appointment with the neurosurgeon for Monday. This must be really bad, you know, this must be horrible. And, and I, you know, I remember, you know, it was very emotional, my wife collapsed, and she started crying, you know, and I was like, you know, so then I say, you know, I’m just gonna offer my wrong I need to call down. And that doesn’t determine, you know, I was like, I started you know, thinking and literally, I was crying on the way to my run, you know, thinking, Am I gonna die? You know, when am I gonna be very, you know, hidden there. And I remember there was a postdoc also in our, in our lab, who put on cancer and a brain tumor actually. And then he died and he came to visit the lab a few few months before he died and he was so thinking that it was a shadow the man that he was and I was thinking, is that my my feet mission? Yeah, but they just kept running but then I realized you know, I’m, I you know, growing up you know, my dad always tells me you know, it what are you gonna do about this? What are you going to do about this, you know, anything that was coming in our ways, what what are we going to do about this? And and another moment, you know, I realized that that’s, that’s that’s how do I react to things Okay, so now I have this you know, thing what am I gonna do about this? Another moment, you know, I made that commitment. I’m gonna I’m gonna fight this. I don’t. I don’t care what’s happening. You You know, I am going to do whatever I can in order to, you know, not to get better, but to fight it is. And when I came back from the wrong, my mind has been already set. And so like, I don’t care about the outcome, I’m just gonna do the best I can. And I think that that was a pivotal moment, for me, is when I made the decision to, you know, to do what I could not to not to control the tumor by acid to do what I could that it was in my control. Right. Right. It

Curt Anderson  20:36

just in that is just such a powerful statement right there. Just kind of keep that in. You know, Damon, think about it. You just, you know, Friday night, five o’clock, you’re get a phone call. It’s that it’s that somebody from the doctor’s office, it’s the doctor, doctor, and you know, Luis, I have news and drops that news on you. Oh, and by the way, Monday morning, this is where you need to be. So you know, and so what would most people do? Well, of course, you go out for a run, right? Yeah. And I just and How admirable Luis that you come in, you take in a horrible situation. And you decide like, Hey, I’m going to, like, I have two choices, right? Either I can just wallow in this, or I’m just going to give it everything I’ve got. And so again, if you’re just joining us, we’re here with Luis Vasquez just came out with a brand new book. It’s ordinary resilience. You want to jump, I have the link in the chat, go to Amazon and grab the Kindle version. It’s out he’s got a special price for our friends here today. Or if you want to grab your hardcopy or your paperback, you can go out and do that as well. Luis, if I could jump ahead, can you share? You were in Chicago, if I’m not mistaken. Were you were you going through some surgery? There was like maybe the Chicago Marathon? Is there a story there that you want to share? Yeah.

Luis Velasquez  21:54

So I was you know, the news of the of the of the of the tumor came on, you know, Friday. Right. A Monday, I had an appointment with the with the, with the surgeon. I was the neurosurgeon and the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, we were planning to go to Chicago to a wedding of a friend’s my wife’s friend, and she was a maid of honor. You know, she was there she was in so it’s like, Okay, why don’t we do you know, and you know, what, if we stay here, it’s gonna be brutal. You know, might as well go on enjoy the weekend. Yeah, so we went. And so the wedding was fabulous. We’re in that’s amazing. It was a it was, it was a wedding in a boat, you know, and then we try to make the best out of it. The following day was Sunday. And Sunday. I thought, Damn particular moment was the day of the Chicago Marathon. You know that way. And then I said, You know what, let’s go check it. Let’s go. Let’s go see it. Let’s go. Let’s go, let’s go look at it. So we went, you know, went to see the checkout on my iPhone there. And you know, when we didn’t see the elites, because, you know, we got there late. So, by the time we got there, they were really having breakfast in an airplane back home. But we started seeing all the people in basically in the back, you know, the people, you know, and a lot of them had a real science in the back, you know, like, brain tumor survivor, cancer survivor, you know, domestic survivor, and I’m like, Oh, my gosh, you know, they did I want to do this, I want to do I want to do this. And my wife says, you know, what are you thinking, you know, you don’t know if you’re going to be alive next year or one hour? And I said, No, I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do this next year, and you’re gonna do it with me. And we made a commitment. That moment is like, Okay, let’s do that, you know, that’s it, you know? So after, you know, during the, that was the, that was the genesis I said, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna do this. And, and again, going back to, you know, to what we were saying earlier, is to make the decision. First you make the decision, you made the commitment. And if you’re committed, then you start doing the work, even though it is hard, you’re gonna do it because you made a commitment. And so when I went through the, you know, the, the Monday morning, I went and I saw this neurosurgeon and long story short, I got the brain surgery. When I was going back into, you know, my therapy, I call it my marathon training,

Curt Anderson  24:27

marathon training. So, like, just let everybody like, let that sink in for a minute, Damon. And so Luis, you told me that we were together for a weekend back in the fall. And he, so his cancer treatment was not cancer treatment. It was his marathon training, as he’s recovering from a brain tumor being removed. So Louise, please, please continue. Yep. So

Luis Velasquez  24:50

So that was it, you know, and I and I, it was, it was hard, you know, as you can imagine, it was frustrating. You know, it was horrible. Ah, but exactly, you’re later, you know, my wife and I were running the Chicago Marathon and I finish in five hours and 40 minutes. And that was, that was the that was a pivotal moment for me, you know, because after that it was a slippery slope and from then on, like a run over 100 marathons and a bunch of other things. But, but yeah, so but you know, I do I don’t want to make this just about me. Yeah, we’ll

Curt Anderson  25:25

change gears. I just I hadn’t. But, Damon, we got some comments here. Yeah.

Damon Pistulka  25:29

Well, you guys started here. We got you know, Sean saying, hey, super inspiring. Dr. Luis, we got divided in here from India. Thanks for being here today. And then Sean says, definitely picking up ordinary resilience after hearing this much of the story. We got all awasi here again, he was here last week, I believe. Hey, everyone, I’m glad to be here among you all, blessings, always. It’s awesome. It’s awesome. We got Harry dropping a question for ourselves. Louise, you seem like a very empathetic human being did overcoming your health crisis aid in developing your empathy when communicating with others and developing new leaders? So do you think that that helped you overcome what you had to do? Ah,

Luis Velasquez  26:14

yeah, I think that let me see, how can I answer this?

Damon Pistulka  26:22

He didn’t know he’s gonna be put on the spot today. No, I’m

Luis Velasquez  26:24

just trying to. So when my my little girl was, I don’t know, I’m once old, you know, a few months old, you know, my wife and I will fight over who’s gonna change the diaper. Because I want to change that. But I want to change that. But you know, we were happy change the diaper. And I think that it wasn’t like that. I hate that, you know, oh, my God, is my turn to change a diaper. Oh, my God, you know, I’m going to the question. And I think that a lot of times, what I what I do is I reframe things, and changing the diaper for me is a privilege, you know, oh, my God, I can I can get to do this. Because I realized that many parents cannot many fathers cannot do that, because they were probably like, my dad, you know, working a long time. So so so the, to me, the empathy comes from a place where I have so much privilege. You know, it is raining, oh, my gosh, it is raining, I cannot do that I have the choice to stay here I can do so it’s a no getting wet. You know, I am stuck in traffic. Oh my gosh, you know, like, I mean, I get to spend some time with, you know, listening to podcasts or talking to my friends over the phone. So I think that for me, the empathy is to realize that there are so many other people that have it worse than I do. And I have so much privilege of, of doing what I do so. So but but the question is, did the brain tumor allow me to be more empathetic? I don’t think that it did in terms of feeling the empathy, but it just gives me a completely different lens of what it is to be in a situation like that. Yeah,

Curt Anderson  28:16

so what I’m hearing is just a whole new appreciation of gratitude. And just like the little things, right, like what a privilege that changed my daughter’s diaper, you know, just what just what a spin you know, in like, you know, bad news, I have a couple of choices. I can wallow feel sorry for myself or go to Chicago for a wedding and then decide like, Hey, we’re going to run this marathon a year from now and again, in Louisiana. I know you hate the attention now. That just you know the the man you are and just the humility that you possess. But just I just want everybody just to get an understanding of who you are. I strongly encourage everyone grab Luis has a brand new book. It’s read over his shoulder, ordinary resilience. It’s a great book, Damon a couple more comments. And then I’ve got a couple of we’re going to dive into for we’re going to talk some more about the book here. But yeah,

Damon Pistulka  29:03

we’ve got Dasha, I’m sorry, I can’t pronounce international wrath, Dasha, Louise, and then all of us. He said when people suffer life threatening conditions, it tends to positively impact our perspective on life. And that’s, that’s, that’s a big deal. When you talk to people that this happens like yourself, Louise. They are Kurt says they either wallow in it shrivel up, are they reframe it in us? Or can

Luis Velasquez  29:34

I say something about that? Yeah. And I think that that is a lot of times the, the assumption that we make is that we need to have a life threatening experience or a hard time to for us to change our perception and change the things and I’m gonna tell you a little story. And I think that I was, you know, I teach a class at Stanford University called interpersonal dynamics. And, and in my class, there was this very sick So a woman, amazing person, and she was so passionate about diversity and inclusion, you know, men, she all she, she, she had a nonprofit diversity and inclusion, she was a, she was an author of diverse, credible. And I asked her, you know, one day and I said, you know, what is this passion comes from, you know what happened, what happened to you that this passion, you know that you’re so passionate about this issue. And she said, you know, she she said to me, you know about to the class because this was in the class. And she said, Louis, you know, I grew up in the Midwest, I am the, you know, the daughter of two Christian white, you know, individuals, I am a white person, I never knew many people other than the, the, you know, people that look like me. And I went to school in Chicago. And in Chicago, when I went to my freshman year, I was discriminated because I was white. And that made me so simply, I mean, that was my pivotal moment. And in my mind, I was thinking, that’s it. That’s, that’s the experience that you had that made you be successful on this. So what I’m what I’m what I’m the point that I’m trying to make at the moment is that I’ve realized that my experience and her experience might be completely different. You know, so you don’t have to go through a brain tumor, or to, you know, the whatever, you know, to become resilient and to become passionate about life and being positive. What we need to do is identify, identify a pivotal moment that will change us. And that could be something like, Man, I fell off my bike yesterday, you see, I’m saying, but just name it, and use it as a pivotal moment. So the idea that resilience is something that happens because we the most resilient individuals are the people that go through hard things in life. I, that’s that’s the one thing that I don’t agree with. And that’s what I call the book ordinary resilience. Because you we don’t have to have to go through major life crisis in order to become resilient individuals. Yeah, absolutely. I love

Curt Anderson  32:16

So that’s the perfect segue. Let’s go there. Ordinary resilience. Let’s talk. I’m gonna be a little bit of Captain Obvious here, Luis. Why do we need resiliency? Just you know, let’s let’s dive in. You know, why? Why did you write the book? What sparked the passion for the book? Why ordinary resilience? Why do we all need to be so resilient? There’s four questions all wrapped in one there.

Luis Velasquez  32:40

I think that I think that, you know, as humans are wired to try to get better all the time. Yeah, you know, we want to get better. We want to do better. We want to achieve big things. You know, that’s what we do. You know, that’s what we do. And resilience is, to me is the is the catalyst that make happen. Now, why do we need it? We don’t need it. We already have it. You say, we already have it. We’re the most resilient people that are resilient. Yeah. species in the world. You know, I mean, if you think about it, you know. We are run the cheetahs in Africa, when you know, the lions in Africa, we were just beginning to you know, to work. So when we’re still in, so it’s not that you need it, you really have it. That’s number one. We now the key here is that for us to survive, adapt and thrive, what we need to do is to unlock what we already have. And the way I describe it is that you we already have everything that we need to take the first step, everything that we need to take the first step and sometimes that is simply making a decision and a commitment. I’m gonna make it better. I’m gonna do X, I’m gonna do that. So ordinary resilience is the more resilient you are, the more the easier you will get the things that you want. So do you need it you already have that you probably use it. Can you even be more successful if you are intentional about exploiting what you already got? Absolutely.

Curt Anderson  34:31

Okay, great answer and so I’m going to slide into act so we already possess it is what you’re saying. Right? Just are we maxing it out? I was in a little bit of a dark period six, seven months ago Damon I got on a call with with Luis and man Luis, you helped me a ton and again, you want to get a little help grab that book, ordinary resilience. You talked about the word hope and man I took a ton of notes that day I have notes I you know whenever I need a little little picnic up, I look at what you what you shared. Share a little bit 100 on how you tie in resiliency with hope. I don’t know if you remember that conversation or if this is a good question for you. Yeah. Take take us, sir, would you please. So

Luis Velasquez  35:11

the way I see resilience, the way I understand resilience is I got a formula for it. And the formula is commitment. Time, plus persistence times, optimism, and optimism is what were you and I talk, accord hope, you know. So, again, you know, the resilience is made the commitment, you know, I’m gonna make, I’m gonna get better, I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do X, and you freaking made the commitment. And when you made the commitment, then you start prioritizing the things that you’re committed to. Yeah. Now the commitment is different from a decision, you know, I decide to get married is different to uncommitted to my wife is completely different. You know, so commitment is emotional commitment is something that men I’m gonna go there. So that’s number one. The second component is persistence. You know, and again, you know, commitment can get you so well, but the commitment, just committed, being committed won’t happen will make things happen, you still need to do the work, you know, and being persistent. Plus, the commitment allows you to understand that, that is not going to be easy. And it’s gonna be a long game, to the point earlier that I was talking about it, you know, like, I mean, sometimes that what we do, we do things that are hard, and that’s okay, because life is hard. You know, when we started our journeys and intrapreneurs thing that is hard, yes, it is hard, but we’re gonna do it anyway. You know, because when we do that, we also have the ability to choose the reward. Yep. You know, it may be you know, being an entrepreneur is hard, you know, by being poor is also hard. You choose, you know, you choose you choose, you choose your the reward. But you understand by being completely committed, and being persistent, is not the entire formula. Because having those two things is a formula for burnout and disappointment, right. The formula is commitment, times persistence, and commitment, prosperous isn’t times optimism. The optimism is a multiplier, there is no resilience, if there is no optimism. Now, how does that apply? Is that if, you know, when I was thinking about when thinking about it, you know, when I when I was, you know, going through the, you know, to the marathon training, my goal, my you know, my hope might be, you know, I want to run the marathon a year from now, therefore, that optimism allowed me to change, you know, to go through the hard work of training, and even reframe how was training by calling my marathon training, because I knew that I had something to do and that is going to be great at the end of the year. So a lot of times, you know, I mean, and to tell you the truth, a lot of times, those hopes are what I call moonshots are completely sometimes our own unattainable, however, the transformation happens in the journey. Yes. You know, is not getting there to the finish line, but what have you learned during the journey because that journey that end, morphs, okay, I’ve run a marathon, okay, I’m gonna run to hell. I’m gonna do three, you know, I’m gonna do a 50k I’m gonna do a 50 miler, I’m gonna do 100 miler, you know, so it’s always a moving target, you know? But we need to have those three, we need to be committed to where we want to do. We want to be, you know, persistent knowing that is no easy. And having the the goal of the aspirational goal that we that we were marching toward.

Damon Pistulka  39:09

Well, Curt, we know what this is. This is a moment of silence right here, where we just have to stop Dr. Luis, and take in what you just said. Because this is something that a lot of people don’t give enough thought to, is that, you know, if you really choose a reward that is gonna be big, expected not to have to toil and be tried and go through challenges is simply a false falsity that you got to get out of your head early. But that commitment and that desire to see yourself there is what will pull you through if you let it totally Yeah,

Curt Anderson  39:52

yeah, it is Luis said earlier, Damon embrace the suck, right? Yeah.

Damon Pistulka  39:57

I love that. I’ve used that. It’s like You just sometimes you just have to power through, right?

Curt Anderson  40:03

Let’s just recap that and we want to go here, you know, for dads out there because I can’t tell you how much I admire you as a dad, I feel you’ve completely helped me be a better dad. We’re talking commitment, persistent. Time, persistence times optimism. You, you know, I know we’re coming at a time and I’ve got a million questions I want to ask and I want to be totally respectful of your time. Would you please just for my sake, would you share, you have a little thing I love hearing stories about your kids absolutely love hearing stories about your your daughter, you have a son, when you drop them off at school, when they get out of the car when you’re driving, you know, commuting with them? What are the what are the things that you share with your kids for further day?

Luis Velasquez  40:46

I want to I want to Oh, thank you for asking that question. And, you know, the one thing that I remember you and you asked me who are you? And I said, you know, I am committed persistent and optimistic. I’m resilient Marco. And I think that a lot of times we confuse who we are with what we do. Yeah, yeah. So, so so so, my, my, my kids, and I have a ritual every morning when I drive into school. And then we have a little rock in the car, we call it our gratitude rock. And we rock, the gratitude rock, and we pass the rock around, you know, and every time you know, like, if I do it, I got it. And I have to say, you know, three things that I’m grateful for. And then I pass it to my six year old, and then my 10 year old, and they say it’s three things that they’re grateful for. And then, you know, when we finished that, and I asked him, so we are kind of familiar, we, and they responded in unison, you know, we pray for family. And then I and then I asked them, you know, what, kind of, you know, what, kind of what kind of what kind of people are we or what kind of priests or what kind of kids are you and then they respond we are kind, strong, confident and resilient. Those, those were the four things that I started and now they included, were inclusive, we’re nice, we’re hopeful, you know, there is like, there’s like three other things, but the three things that the fourth thing is, is that we kind of strong, confident and resilient. You know, we’ve been doing this for 40 years, you know, and, and just to us for them to have, you know, to to embrace an identity. Because that’s what I that’s what worked for me. And at the end of the day, you know, some kids, some parents asked, what do you learn today? You know, what do you do today? My question to them, when they come into the into the car is like, who did you help today? You know, who did you help today? And it’s, it’s, I mean, it’s so amazing, because, uh, sometimes, you know, they say I want to tell I want to, because I know that they help somebody you know. So they, they do that. And so that’s but but I want to share with you something that really happened a couple of weeks ago, we were going to we went to Tahoe, and we went to this park and they have zip lines. And they there is like very high hanging bridges, you know, so they put you in a harness and you go through the adventure live. And the first time you know, we’re going up there, you know, my six year old, he was like he started to cry. You know, he literally said I want to do it, I don’t want to do it. And then something clicked in his head. And I think he said, I feel my fears, I’m gonna do it anyway. I feel my fears. And it’s really and that was his mantra. And he did it the entire time. And I’m like, holy crap, you know, so, so. So, again, you know, I think that this is my hope is that they become two kind, confident, resilient and strong individuals. And I hope that that’s the case. But while we do, what I’m trying to do is to give them an identity that they can identify. So for instance, you know, whenever they do something wrong, I don’t tell them don’t do that or stop doing that. But I ask them is that the will account person do that?

Damon Pistulka  44:00

Wow.

Luis Velasquez  44:02

You know, and they may know, okay, you know, oh, I don’t want to do this. It’s too hard. Oh, are you resilient? And then they click and that’s so I don’t tell them don’t do that or stop doing that. I just asked that question. And it resonates in oh my god, this fight this another funny story. Yeah. We were you know, we were we were at a supermarket when my my daughter was about maybe, I don’t know, maybe six I think and I caught her on the on the car, you know, and these ladies oh my god, you’re so cute. I’m not cute. I’m gonna strong and confident. So, so yeah, so that’s what I do. And I it’s my it’s my effort. Let’s put it that way to hopefully I can, you know, shape them into two kind, strong, confident and resilient individuals.

Damon Pistulka  44:55

Yeah. I

Curt Anderson  44:56

just thank you, Luis. I appreciate that. I just I couldn’t as a father, just just, you know, look at the confidence that you’re just this habit, this reading positive reinforcement that you’re putting into your children on a daily basis. I just I commend you, I just think that is so wonderful. I know we’re coming into time, as we start winding down. First off, I want to strongly encourage welcome, invite everybody out there to grab this book, I’ve just got it on Wednesday, I’ve been traveling all week, I’ve started digging into it, and not wait to get through the end, Louise, anything that you want to share for folks out there, maybe you know, you’re having a tough time, like you said, maybe it’s not a tragic event, but you know, what business is down, or maybe my relationships not going where I want it to be, or, you know, just it’s not these awful life changing events, like you’re saying, but it’s just the ordinary, any parting thoughts, any words of wisdom that you want to share of how we can really capture embrace that ordinary resilience?

Luis Velasquez  45:55

Um, you know, I mean, if I think that what I hope that the book does, which is also my philosophy, coaching, is that we need to act differently, we need to think differently. And we need to think differently, we need to see differently. So a lot of times a lot of us feel that we are, we have no choice, because we do have options, and we do have options, you know, and by the way, not doing anything is an option. Yeah, so so so if I were to, you know, the idea is that, when you think that there is no option, there are options, you know, when you think that, my God, there is no other way of doing it, there are other ways of doing it. And the minute you start looking for doors, options, you start thinking about, you know, what can you do? And, and, and I think that when there is people, people that are hopeless, you know, are they there is no resilience there, you know, and being hopeless is a choice. And I think that, you know, it’s very hard to say that is almost harsh, but the reality is that that’s what it is. And sometimes people that that, that that or they don’t have any hope. Don’t see it the other way. So so so it’s my job, and hopefully your job, and then is to unlock the options that people have and to realize and make them realize that they have options. The minute people have options, they feel better about the choices that they have.

Curt Anderson  47:37

Yeah. And that’s exactly the conversation we had. And you gave me an example where you know, you work with high level C suite coaches, and you know, not to reveal anything, you know, there’s a coach, and she just couldn’t see a path. And you know, became a little bit hopeless option lists. And all you did is you took a pivot and you said, Well, did you think about this, and you gave her an alternative and another option and all of a sudden hope appeared? Because you helped her sometimes we get so close to it, we can’t see those options. And I think that’s a superpower of yours. And that’s a big you know, thing with a book is like how do you pull out those options? How do you create that hope I’ve always been hopeful and how you opened up is being filled with gratitude. What a great way to stay in hope it’s been just completely consumed in gratitude. So yeah, all right. All right. Well, I know you I want to keep it for another hour Luis I know we’ve got to run Damon any your your your thoughts on this? This jam session today with all

Damon Pistulka  48:37

Manny, thank you so much. I’m not gonna get in here because I know we got to get him out. He’s got a meeting he needs to get to. But thank you so much. Dr. Luis. I want to thank all Lou Aaron and Dr. Aria. Yep, Arey, Shawn, everybody that’s dropping comments Davia everyone’s dropping comments today. Thank you so much for stopping by today. But man, yeah, what a session or

Curt Anderson  49:06

what a session. So Louise, any parting thoughts, words of wisdom that you’d like to share with folks as we close out?

Luis Velasquez  49:14

Huh, just over eight things.

Curt Anderson  49:19

How about this comment here for you, Luis. This one will make your day right. Kurt times Damon times Luis three. Great show today story. I can’t wait to read your book. I love this man’s energy simple. So again, guys, thank

Damon Pistulka  49:38

you. Thank you. Thank

Curt Anderson  49:39

you. And so hey, how about you’ve been hanging out with us for past however long it’s been great opportunity. Stand up give a little stretch. Let’s give a big standing ovation. A big round of applause for our dear friend, the one and only Luis Luis. Thank you. We appreciate you. We wish you monster success. Yes. Look, we can’t wait to see it on the New York Times bestselling list. us, we appreciate you, brother. Appreciate it. And hey, just Damon. Like we always love to say just go out and be someone’s inspiration just like Luis was for for us today. And you will make the world a better place. So Louise, hang out one second. We wish everybody an amazing, incredible weekend. Have a wonderful if we don’t say you have a wonderful Fourth of July. Bless you. And thank you for joining us today. Luis. Thank you again, my friend. Thank you.

Damon Pistulka  50:25

All right. Well, thanks everyone for being here. Thank you for you the people that were commenting today, all us that all of you that are not commenting. We appreciate you listening. We appreciate you sharing this information and connect with Luis. If you haven’t, you need to do that already. We will be back again. We’re taking a week off because of the holiday, but we will be back after that with more great guests and topics. Thanks everyone. Have a great weekend. Peace